The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace

By Paige Liston, Media and Communications Manager

Few things fascinate me as much as personality tests. You know the typical ones — Myers-Briggs, CliftonStrengths, and becoming more and more popular, the Enneagram. However, one of my favorite tests is understanding peoples’ love languages and how they prefer to receive love and express their love for others. It’s clear how this translates into your personal life, but I often bring up to my Bohlsen Group team how relevant love languages are in a workplace setting as well.  

Recently, our team completed a test covering our five languages of appreciation in the workplace. These are similar in name to the original love languages: acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts and physical touch. Hearing our results gave me new perspective on how I can best help my teammates and how to be a better manager. And, learning these insights about your team members is crucial, with a third of all U.S. workers feeling undervalued and unappreciated at work. Below, I touch on the different languages of appreciation in the workplace and how to best apply those in a way that’s meaningful and effective. 

1. Words of Affirmation

According to research by Dr. Paul White, co-author of “The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Empowering People,” nearly half (46%) of the workforce prefers words of affirmation as their workplace appreciation language. Words of affirmation are positive words of encouragement that vocalize your respect and appreciation for another person. 

It’s clearly crucial for employees to receive feedback on their work performance and to have their hard work acknowledged. This large percentage shows us that employees highly value having their work complimented — in a group setting or one-on-one —and it’s vital to deliver this feedback in a way that’s genuine and specific. Saying “nice work this week,” is a good start, but those with words of affirmation as their primary language will feel most appreciated when their specific project is called out, and you can explain exactly what was so special or valued about it. This makes an employee feel seen and will boost overall morale. 

It’s also important to note that words of affirmation don’t need to only come from your manager or the president of a company. To foster a healthy workplace environment, compliment and acknowledge the hard work of everyone on your team, even if you’re not the manager, encouraging peer-to-peer appreciation.  

2. Quality Time

According to Blue Board, 26% of the workforce prefers quality time as their primary language. This happens to be both my love and workplace appreciation language! It’s interesting to note that your primary love language doesn’t always coincide with your workplace language, but mine happens to.  

Those who value quality time mean they find joy in spending fruitful and attentive time with the people they’re close with. The word “quality” is key to this language, as quality time is all about receiving someone’s complete and focused attention and feeling as though you were truly listened to and understood. To make quality time a priority in your workplace, set up a dedicated time for recurring check-in meetings with your team members. It’s important to use that check-in time to listen to understand, instead of listening to reply. Having this difference recognized is key for someone who values quality time. 

Your team should also be creating opportunities for your employees to connect outside of work. Don’t overdo it in a way that feels disingenuous; instead, take the time to really listen to what your employees enjoy doing and set up social outings that reflect their interests. A safe bet is always starting small, like taking someone to coffee or lunch, but those outings will eventually expand as you start to get to know more about your team members and spend true quality time. 

3. Acts of Service

Per Blue Board, 22% of the workforce has acts of service as their primary workplace appreciation language. Acts of service are actions that can support, help, or free up your co-workers’ time and make their lives a bit easier. If someone values acts of service, they would feel appreciated if you stepped up and offered to help them with a task, or take something off their plate for the day. Those who value acts of service value a team player mentality and would feel most supported if they received assistance on a task they’d rather not do, or simply don’t have the capacity to complete.  

You can make acts of service a priority at your organization by being attentive to everyone on staff. If you notice that someone on your team seems overwhelmed, and you have the capacity to assist, reach out and ask what you can take on that day. It will instantly relieve some of the pressure they may be experiencing. If you’re a manager and notice one employee is swamped, reassign some of their tasks to someone else on your team, or consider hiring someone new to provide that crucial assistance to someone who values acts of service. 

4. Gifts

Per Blue Board, gifts rank rather low, with only 6% of the workforce preferring receiving gifts as their primary workplace appreciation language. However, it’s important to note this is not the same as giving raises or bonuses. This language is the act of giving employees tangible gifts that you know they will enjoy, and use, based on their interests.  

Although gift giving ranks lower in the workplace, giving personalized gifts will show that you have a grasp on who your employees are as people. Similar to quality time, listen to what your employees enjoy doing. If you know they go to a specific restaurant every weekend, a gift card to that restaurant will go a long way, as they’ll recognize you listened to their interests. Also, gifts don’t always have to be a gift card. Instead, consider giving the gift of time off. Show your employees you value their work-life balance by encouraging your team to spend work hours doing things that bring them joy. 

5. Physical Touch

Not surprisingly, physical touch ranks as the lowest workplace appreciation language, with less than 1% of the workforce population preferring physical touch, according to Blue Board. It is important to note how to apply this language appropriately in the workplace. Even if you’re comfortable with a hug from a colleague, you can’t assume everyone else on your team is. Err on the side of caution and gauge coworkers’ comfort levels. 

Blue Board also states that boundaries need to be respected. Understand that your colleagues have reasons for not wanting physical interactions, and you must be respectful of that, especially in a workplace setting. 

Overall, it’s an interesting exercise and important to be familiar with your team’s workplace appreciation preferences. If you know, this will allow for enhanced communication and the opportunity to connect with coworkers in a way that’s meaningful. We took our test through the MBA Inventory if you’re interested in learning more.  

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